The ABCs of
by schizoferb
Summary: Sometimes describing a person is as easy as... well you get the idea. Character speculations on all characters, ranging from hilarious to tragic. Rated T to be safe.
1. Ferb Fletcher

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Phineas and Ferb, The Phantom of the Opera, The Music Man, Ceremony of Blood, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Nightmare Before Christmas, West Side Story, Les Miserables, or The Outsiders. They all belong to their respective owners.

**A/N:** The entries under letters K, S, and X are evolving into their own stories.

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**The ABCs of Ferb Fletcher**

A is for Aquaintances

Most of the time, Ferb didn't mind having the same friends as Phineas. But sometimes he felt like a tag-along, and that his friends only put up with him because he was Phineas's brother.

B is for Brother

When they were first introduced, Ferb couldn't believe he had to share his father, room and pet with Phineas. But not long after this red-haired nuisance became his best friend.

C is for Caddy

It was evil of him, but Ferb couldn't help snickering as Phineas hit the golfball into the water and threw his club in after it. Then something dawned on him.

"Hey! That's my iron! Hey!"

D is for Danville

Danville was, honestly, a lot less exciting than London. When Dad described it, Ferb knew he would die of boredom within a week.

He soon discovered that with Phineas, "bored" was not an option.

E is for England

No matter where he lived, his home would always be in England. He grew up there. He ate, drank, slept, and attended school there.

And besides, that's where his Mum is buried.

F is for Family

Sure, Dad was a bit clueless, Mom was always busy, Candace never shut up, and Phineas was the Energizer Bunny on steroids. But once you lived with them, their faults faded into the background.

G is for Gallant

Ferb loved hiking at Grandpa Clyde and Betty Jo's house every year. Sometimes he'd go so far ahead of the group that he could experience hiking as nature intended: solitary and silent. Then everyone would catch up, and the cycle of noise-quiet-noise would start again.

I is for Influential

"Come on kids, why don't you try 'em? They'll make you feel real good," a rough-looking man stated, holding out a handful of pills.

The group began to debate amongst themselves. Only Ferb walked straight up to the man and took a pill.

"No," Ferb replied, throwing the pill to the ground. "I don't want your stupid pill." He stomped on it, and walked away.

If he had looked back, he would've seen his friends following him.

J is for Jester

Ferb had no idea that his costume for Isabella's party would attract so much attention, especially female attention.

After all, he had been joking when he told Candace they invented "for the ladies."

K is for Kidnapped

"9-1-1. What is your emergency?"

"My name is Ferb Fletcher. I've been kidnapped and locked in the trunk of the car. I have no idea where I am now and I'm very scared."

"Okay, Ferb, do you know who your kidnapper is?"

"Yeah."

"Who is it?"

"My stepbrother's dad."

L is for Lollipop

Although the sweet confection was well enjoyed, there would be no hesitation in sharing if some unfortunate soul were to drop his.

M is for Mother

"Your mum was the sweetest, most generous, kindest human being I ever met," Lawrence pulled his son into a hug. "Just like you."

N is for Natural

It was extremely tiring explaining that his mum had a genetic fluke that made her hair green and that he had inherited it, especially on the first day of school every year.

O is for Overachiever

Maybe he was hardwired that way, but Phineas noticed that whatever he did, Ferb tried to (and normally succeeded in) do ten times better. Almost like he was trying to show him up.

P is for Perry

Ferb really wanted to tell people that he chose to own a platypus so that no matter how awkward he felt, he knew something would be more awkward in that situation. But whenever someone asked, he'd reply, "It's much cooler than owning a dog or cat."

Q is for Quiet

It became a Danvillian adage: The Flynns are talkers, and the Fletchers are listeners.

R is for Robin

When the six broken bodies showed up on the Flynn-Fletcher's doorstep, it was Ferb who insisted on taking them to the veterinarian.

It was Ferb who spent his whole spring nursing them back to health.

It was Ferb who taught them how to fly.

And it was Ferb with tears in his eyes when he released them.

S is for Schizophrenia

Nobody suspected anything. In fact, everyone suspected Candace of having a mental disorder.

When he complained of voices, they blamed stress. When he complained of strange things, they chalked it up to needing sleep.

It wasn't until he pulled a knife on Isabella during school that he was diagnosed.

T is for Theatre

As of late, Ferb's repertoire consisted of : The Phantom, Marcellus, Van Helsing, Jem Finch, Barrel, Baby John, Grantaire, Johnny, and multiple chorus member roles.

And this was sure to expand.

U is for Uncoordinated

Normally Ferb moved with grace. But every once in a while, especially during sports, he would trip or swing to early or late, sending the whole gym class into an uproar.

V is for Vanessa

Although he'd only seen her twice, she had captivated him. So much so he often found himself staring off into space thinking about her.

W is for Wisdom

If anyone ever had a problem, they could go to Ferb and he would help. Even adults went to him for advice, even though they didn't admit it.

X is for Xavier

He met Xavier the first day of kindergarten, and they became fast friends. When Ferb moved away, they became pen pals. One day, he got a letter from Xavier saying:

Dear Ferb,

I'm gay. Please don't hate me.

Your friend,

Xavier

To which he promptly replied:

Dear Xavier,

I could never hate you.

Your Friend,

Ferb

Y is for Yabbo

Ripped, torn, and falling apart, the bear was on its last legs. However, it always mysteriously went from the garbage to inside Ferb's pillowcase.

Z is for Zest

"That's why I put up with you," Ferb told his brother, who was snoozing next to him under the tree, "You make my life exciting."


	2. Isabella GarciaShapiro

**Disclaimer:** I own no publicly recognizable characters.

**A/N:** To all readers who were offended by "Schizophrenia" in the last chapter: I apologize if I offended anyone, it was unintentional. Rest assured, **I would never, ever, write a story without doing research, especially about such a devastating illness.** So as Puck says: "If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended… Take up your hands, if we be friends, And Robin shall restore amends."

**The ABCs of Isabella Garcia-Shapiro**

A is for Accustomed

The Fireside Girls didn't even go over to Isabella's house for meetings anymore; they just went straight to Phineas and Ferb's backyard.

B is for Besmirch

With a massive _splat!_, the mudball, which was originally destined for Buford, landed on Isabella's pink jumper. Ferb looked at his stunned brother and told him, quite frankly, "Run like hell."

C is for Chihuhua

Her parents didn't want a big dog, yet that seemed to be all that was in stock at the shelter. Isabella was happy about that, because if they had gotten a big dog, Pinky might still be in that box on the side of the road.

D is for Delicacy

"Come on, girls, try 'em! They're just snails; and besides, we need to earn our 'European Foods Badge'!"

E is for Engrave

She traced the heart with her fingers and smiled. The heart contained the carved letters _P and I_, and even though they were carved into the tree when she was five, the feelings were still as strong.

F is for Flamenco

Isabella paused and took a deep breath.

"You okay?" Ferb, her partner (much to her disappointment), asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine," she replied. Ferb nodded and they walked onto the floor to begin their dance routine.

G is for Glare

_If a picture is worth a thousand words,_ Phineas thought, _then a girl's glare must be worth an entire digital camera full._

H is for Harlequin

Isabella rushed to open the door. When she did, she saw Phineas and Ferb, fully costumed. "Hi gu--," she began to say, but stopped. Phineas looked dashing and handsome in his knight armor, but Ferb looked positively adorable in his little jester suit!

I is for Idealist

"You've just got your whole life planned out, huh?" Gretchen interrupted Isabella's spiel about how her and Phineas would date through high school, have a huge wedding, move out to the country, raise seven kids, and then grow old together.

J is for Jubilee

The Fourth of July was always the greatest holiday for barbequing and fireworks. The show had just started when seven-year-old Isabella heard crying under her chair. She looked down and met eye-to-eye with Phineas's new stepbrother.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"It's too loud…," the thin British boy sobbed. "They're always too loud…"

"I remember my first Fourth. I was scared too," Isabella slid down to sit next to him. "I'll hold your hand if you want."

He nodded, and they watched the fireworks side-by-side, hand-in-hand.

K is for Kindling

The girls had finally gotten enough wood to start a fire. Then it began to rain.

L is for Link

"Red Rover, Red Rover, send Buford on over!" one line of children chanted. Buford ran straight toward Isabella, who was holding Phineas's hand in a deadlock. He hit their locked arms and toppled straight over.

Phineas later made the comment that they made a good team. She was so euphoric she didn't eat for three days.

M is for Matchmaker

The troop was puzzled. Whenever they played 'Fortune Teller' at Isabella's house, she'd always get Phineas, Gretchen would always get Ferb, Katie would always get Django, Ginger would always get Baljeet, and Buford would constantly volley between Addyson, Milly, and anyone else who happened to be playing.

Isabella snickered. What the troop didn't know was that she was capable of the slight-of-hand needed to rig all kinds of card games. Including 'Fortune Teller.'

O is for Oblivious

Ferb sure didn't get it. Every boy their age in town had a crush on Isabella (even he did, to an extent), yet she chose to go after his brother??

P is for Phineas

They'd been friends for so long that all the photos their parents had taken filled up a whole album.

Q is for Query

"Ferb, do you know if Phineas likes me?" Isabella asked.

Ferb looked at the ground and shrugged.

"Well… um… thanks anyway…," she turned and ran off.

She didn't hear him quietly reply, "I do."

R is for Roach

A blood-curdling scream rang out. Mrs. Garcia-Shapiro ran up to the bathroom. She stopped and saw Isabella huddled on a counter and an itty-bitty roach on the floor.

"Oi vay, you have to face your fears…"

S is for Scouting

The minute Isabella heard about the Fireside Girls, she wanted to join. And the minute she knew that Danville didn't have a troop, she decided to make one.

Troop 46231 started with her, Gretchen, and Holly, but it soon grew to capacity.

T is for Tough

Buford wiped his nose where she socked him. A small trickle of blood dripped down his arm. He paled and fainted.

Baljeet smiled and muttered, "That is the last time he will pick a fight with Isabella."

U is for Unicorn

To most, it was a childish obsession that she would grow out of. But to her, belief in these creatures was a way of remaining forever optimistic.

V is for Vintage

"Isabella, that is so your look!" Addyson laughed. Isabella just shrugged. It didn't matter what anyone else thought, personally, she loved her style.

W is for Whatcha doin'?

She didn't even think about asking it anymore. When she saw anyone, the words tumbled out themselves.

X is for X-ray

Dr. Hirahino sighed in exasperation. How could anyone break their arm by working in a car wash?

Y is for Yo-yo

"Congratulations, Miss Isabella Garcia-Shapiro! You are the new Tri-State Area Youth Division Yo-yo Extraordinaire Champion!"

Z is for Zonked

Her last thought every night before she fell asleep was: "I wonder what I'll do tomorrow…."

**A/N: **So, how was that? I don't feel it was as good as the first chapter… I had finished writing it when I realized, hey, Ferb is in this more than Phineas! I suppose I sort-of ship Ferb/Isabella now, eh? Please Review!


	3. Lawrence Fletcher

**Disclaimer: **It's true! After a long absence, I, Schizoferb, have returned! Yet still, I have not acquired ownership of Phineas and Ferb, Phantom of the Opera, or the Beatles.

**A/N: **Wow, this took a long time to write… I've been so busy it's crazy! Currently I am writing chapters for Phineas, Perry, and Baljeet. But I do take requests! Read and Review and Request!!!

**The ABCs of Lawrence Fletcher**

A is for Archaeology

It was his chosen field. Only one such as he understood the joy that came from digging and dusting all day, even if nothing of any value was found.

B is for Beatles

Beatlemania still coursed through his veins. He knew every line of every song, every factoid, every detail about these four young men from Liverpool, even to the point of inserting them into his fishing stories.

His favorite:

"John, it's a good song, love the tune, but the words, John. 'All you need is a Phillipshead screwdriver?' It just hasn't got a good ring to it, does it?"

C is for Christine

Her eyes burned with a fire of passion. Her—naturally green—hair shone brighter than the sun. Her soft voice soothed all who listened. She was both complex and simple at the same time.

She was his first true love.

D is for Daughter

"Raising a teenager is going to be tough," Linda stated, glancing at Candace, who was watching television in the living room. "We're going to deal with cell phones, boyfriends, breakups, school, fights, friends, and stupid decisions for the next couple of years."

Lawrence chuckled and replied suavely, "I'm up to the challenge."

E is for Excursions

His career took him everywhere, from Egypt to Canada, from Africa to Australia, from Drusselstein to Timbuktu. But he was happiest at home with his family.

F is for Fishing

Fishing was an all-around sport; one needed a sharp eye, good coordination, fast reflexes, and a knowledge of when, where, and what to fish with. Hence, why he was so good, he had no idea.

G is for Gentle—mostly 

"So you guys' dad never yells?" Buford asked in disbelief.

"Well… no, not really…," Phineas replied.

"He yelled at me once," Ferb muttered.

"What happened?" Buford asked, prepared to laugh at the reason's stupidity.

"I got really mad at him," Ferb replied.

"What did you do?" Phineas asked, surprised. He was dumbfounded, that his father could actually raise his voice, much less yell.

"Let's just say I locked myself in my room for a _long_ time."

H is for Historian

History and all things related (antiques, museums, fossils, monuments, etc.) piqued his interest the most.

Luckily, his family also shared this obsession. Or at least they pretended to very well.

I is for Improvise

He had expected this for a while now. A few years, in fact. But now that the time came, he completely blanked on what to say.

His sons just asked about "the birds and the bees."

J is for Juggling

"I just need a little practice, that's all," Lawrence smiled and picked up the little colored beanbags.

Linda rubbed her temples and prayed he would _never _be stupid enough to try using knives or flameing batons, for the safety of everyone.

K is for Kinescope

Every year, per Mum's request, Lawrence and his father ventured into the attic to spring clean.

"Dad?" nine-year-old Lawrence asked, pulling a strange object from a dusty box, "What's this?"

"That, my boy, is a kinescope. It's an extremely old type of video camera," Reginald answered.

"Does it still work?"

"I don't know. Let's see."

When Winifred returned from the market, she found herself with five new home movies—and a barely cleaned attic.

L is for Linda

Her red hair perfectly framed her face. Her eyes sparkled with happiness. Whenever she laughed, her face radiated with true joie de vivre.

She was his second true love.

M is for Memories

The contents of his toolbox told his life story, basically. It was overflowing with letters, cds, tapes, photos, yearbooks, feathers, cards, clay sculptures. It seemed that everything in the world was in there.

Because everything in _his_ world _was _in there.

N is for Naturalization

Lawrence glanced sleepily at the clock. 11:05. He looked back to his book.

"Papa?" a small voice asked from the doorway.

Lawrence looked back up. "Ferb, what are you doing out of bed? Go back to sleep, son, it's late."

"I can't sleep. What are you doing?" he asked, padding over to the table.

"I'm studying."

"For what?"

"The U.S. citizenship exam."

Ferb's eyes widened. Tears filled and began streaming from them. "Are you leaving me?" he asked, choked with sobs.

Lawrence pulled him into a hug. "No Ferb, I will never leave you. Ever."

"Promise?" Ferb asked, voice muffled by his father's shirt.

"Promise."

O is for Old-fashioned

To the rest of the world, chivalry was dead. But not to him. He always held open doors, pulled out chairs, and even went so far as to put his coat over a puddle once. Never abandoning his ideals, he made his parents proud.

P is for Practical

Being a single dad in England was not an easy task. Getting by was tough, but Lawrence did it. Of course, that meant little luxury, no frivolous when they had enough money, they still lived by the adage "Waste not, want not."

Old habits die hard.

Q is for Quirks

He was a strange one indeed. But these "oddities" as they were perceived by others, were exactly what made him so lovable in the first place.

R is for Rose

Every year, around March, if you were to go to a dreary English cemetery, you'd see them. A tall man with brown hair and a boy with green hair. They walk through the entire cemetery, like they've forgotten where they're going. But their destination is as far back into the gravesites as possible, enclosed in a fence.

The grave is marked thus: _Christine Fletcher. Loving wife and mother. Her voice rang loud on Earth, as it will in His Kingdom._

The two figures stay for about a half an hour, and then depart. What they leave behind are letters in a child's handwriting, the child's school photo, and a brilliant red rose. Every time.

True love never dies.

S is for Sons

Lawrence loved his first son more than anything. Ferb was a living, breathing memorial to Lawrence's wife. And his stepson also had his own place in Lawrence's heart. Phineas symbolized rebirth, a new beginning.

He would die for them.

T is for Thankful

"Happy Turkey Day!" Phineas shouted as he ran through the house. Linda and Candace were frazzled with preparing the turkey, and Ferb, confused by this new American holiday, tried to stay out of the way.

Lawrence and Linda were left alone after dinner to clean up the dishes, thanks to the tryptophan in the turkey.

"So how was your first Thanksgiving?" Linda asked her husband while washing a bowl.

"Wonderful." Lawrence replied.

"What are you thankful for?"

"Everything."

U is for Unimposing

He'd always been a tall and thin boy. But his height and weight gave him no advantages; his coordination remained that of a five-year -old. His intelligence and glasses didn't help either. He was often used as a bully's punching bag.

Truth be told, he could have won against them in a fight. But he's "a lover, not a fighter."

V is for Victory

The final cue thundered from the orchestra. Lawrence took a deep breath and walked onto stage for curtain call. Thousands of audience members cheered in a spontaneous standing ovation. Of course, he's the Phantom, he could mime his performance and still get a standing ovation.

_Ah, well_, he thought_, tonight is a victory nonetheless_.

W is for Waldo

Ferb sighed. It had been two weeks since his birthday, and Dad still hadn't given him his book back. This was tedious.

Dad was obsessed with finding that man in red and white stripes.

X is for Xylographer

"Wow, Dad, this woodcut is so cool! You made this yourself?!"

Y is for Yes man

Within a year, Candace figured out how to manipulate her new stepfather. She got everything she asked for.

Except a pony. Mom must have got to him.

Z is for Zeal

Whatever he did, he charged into without hesitation, head-on. He didn't want regrets.

There wasn't any more room in his heart for sorrow.


	4. Phineas Flynn

Disclaimer:

I don't own Phineas and Ferb. Insert sad face.

**A/N:** My loyal fans, I am sssssooooo sorry! This Phineas chapter took forever, with all the ideas and verifying that it doesn't contradict the cartoon, it's MADNESS!

**The ABCs of Phineas Flynn**

A is for Architecture

He couldn't place it, but there was something fun in staring at buildings in pictures and trying to figure out how they were built. Probably because he realized half of the stuff he could easily reconstruct.

B is for Balloon

"Wow, you can see everything for miles everywhere. Know why I like this part of the Carnival, Ferb?" Phineas asked his brother. "Up here we're free. Nothing can hold us down if we're already in the air." He chuckled softly. "We have our heads in the clouds. Literally."

C is for Curious

"Phineas, stop being so nosy," Linda chastised her six-year-old son, pulling him away from the other table. "Curiosity killed the cat, you know."

"But Mom, if Columbus hadn't been curious, he wouldn't have discovered America! If Edison hadn't been curious, he wouldn't have invented the light bulb!"

"All those people were _grown-up, Phineas_," an eleven-year-old Candace replied, putting a special emphasis on the word 'grown-up.'

"You don't need to be grown-up!" Phineas whined, "Alice fell down the rabbit hole into Wonderland, and she was only seven!"

D is for Defender

Ferb glanced down at his watch. _7:00… why isn't the bus here?_

"Hey Brit!"

_Oh no…_ Every day two boys made fun of him at school. _Guess they decided to start early today…_

"Hey Brit! Didn't you hear me?" the tall one yelled.

_Just ignore them._

"He's not talking to us! What? Do you think you're better?"the short one added.

"Go back to Britain!" the tall one spat. "We don't want you here!"

That did it. Whether it was those words or just the daily repetition wearing thin, Ferb didn't know. Phineas, who had been quietly standing next to him, threw down his backpack. He got right up into the bullies' faces.

"Leave him alone! Ferb didn't do anything to you!" he shouted. "And for your information, I want him here, so why don't you just go away and stay away!"

Never again did anyone bother them.

E is for Energetic

Every minute of every day he was doing something. Whether running or making something or just twiddling his thumbs, he was always moving.

If it wasn't for Ferb keeping him grounded, that boy would never sleep.

F is for Ferb

"Phineas, this is your new stepbrother Ferb," Linda said, leading the green-haired boy into the room. Candace's yelling cut the introduction short, leaving the two boys alone.

"Hi. I'm Phineas," the red-haired boy smiled.

The green-haired boy glanced over. After a pause, he smiled back.

"You don't talk much, do you?"

Ferb nodded 'No.'

"That's okay. We can still have lots of fun."

G is for Generous

Every Christmas season, Phineas carried a huge pocketful of quarters everywhere he went.

Not to buy presents or candy, but to put in the Salvation Army buckets.

H is for Hives

There was one thing in this world he hated for no reason. That thing was mosquitoes.

An entire summer wasted covered in itchiness was unforgivable.

I is for Isabella

They'd been friends for… well, forever, it seemed. And everything seemed normal until sixth grade. Then a rumor started circling about how she was in love with him. And not just puppy love, love with a capital L.

When he confronted her friends, they replied, "Phineas, she's been in love with you since, like, the third grade!"

J is for Just

"Mom, I broke that vase. Please don't punish Ferb, it was completely my fault, Mom, punish me."

K is for Keeper

A week after Phineas came home from the hospital, Candace loudly announced to the family they could keep him.

L is for Live in the Moment

Seize the day. Carpe Diem. It was his motto, creed, saying, whatever you want to call it. He lived by it every day.

How couldn't he, in this wide world of possibilities?

M is for Musical

"No, Xavier, I swear! My brother Phin plays every bloody instrument known to man! It's terrifying, I tell you!"

N is for Night

Tonight's a nice clear night. On nights like this Phineas liked to sit up on the roof and think deep thoughts everyone expected Ferb to be thinking behind that silent mask. He wished he could be like his stepbrother. Instead, he blurted everything out of his big mouth. Can't he be different?

Phineas stopped mid thought and chuckled to himself. The night air made him philosophical.

O is for Optimist

Rainy day: "We'll find something else to do."

Flat tire: " I'll finally learn how to change I tire! I've always wanted to!"

Burnt food: "We can pretend we're camping."

End of the world: "Now we don't have to do the dishes!"

P is for Pop

He didn't know what happened. One morning his father dropped him off at preschool, then that afternoon, he was gone. Mom wouldn't answer any questions. Then when he got older, the pieces all fell into place. His parents got a divorce.

But that was okay. If that hadn't been, he never would've met his current dad or Ferb.

Q is for Questioner

A day at the park was always an adventure. Especially with an inquisitive eight-year-old.

"Candace, what's that?"

"Candace, do birds eat eggs?"

"Candace, is this a black widow?"

"Candace, how do planes fly?"

"Candace…"

"Phineas, shut up!" Candace snapped. "Don't ask questions!"

"I'm sorry…" Phineas paused, then asked, "Candace, are you mad at me?"

R is for Restless

"Are we there yet?"

"No Phin."

A half-hour later.

"Are we there yet?"

"No Phin."

Another half-hour later.

"Are we there YET?"

Ferb turned to his brother. "You can't keep still, can you?"

Phineas laughed, then replied, "No. I guess not!"

S is for Sister

Why did she always seem angry with him? She wasn't always like that, she used to be so nice. Candace used to play with him until bedtime, laughing the entire time… then she turned thirteen, and it was like she was "too cool" for him. He wanted his old sister back; that's why he built all this stuff for her, but that only seemed to make her angrier.

Truthfully, he loved his sister more than anything.

T is for Try

After over 200 attempts, Phineas finally produced a perfect origami crane. When asked why, he replied, "I wanted to do something new."

U is for Unbelievable

Candace was jarred awake by a revelation: The reason Phineas and Ferb always got away with their schemes was because their daily projects were so large scale, so impossible, so absurd, so over the top no one would ever take them seriously.

V is for Visonary

He filled his notebooks with ideas, blueprints, sketches of inventions that would someday, somewhere, make the world a better place. He could feel it.

W is for Why?

The question always on his lips, poised at the ready. Just begging to be asked.

X is for Xylophone

Christmas. His first, actually. Phineas (with his then father's help) tore open the gift. And lo and behold, quiet became an endangered species in the Flynn household.

Y is for Yen

He wanted _something_, that was clear. But the problem was, he just didn't know _what._

Z is for Zebra

"Why do you like zebras so much Phineas?" his first grade teacher asked.

"Because even though they all look the same, they each have their own unique patterns. Like people."

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**Review please! Again, I'm ssssoooo sorry this chapter took so long!**


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